Toor's Gambit

I desperately need to find an outlet for all of the anger that is now pent up inside of me and I think this blog is probably going to go a long way in helping me calm down.  Anyways. One of the things that came up during my visit to her home was cars. Her brother has a keen interest in cars and suggested that I sell my aqua and put in about five million and buy a Mercedes. I asked him how was a Mercedes any different from my aqua. They are both, after all, cars. To this her father remarked rather sarcastically "well one feels a little something when they are driving around in a Merc that one doesn't feel when driving around in any other car". To this I said "Uncle, I don't see things the same way. To me a car is a mode of transport, it's job like any other mode of transport for example a motorcycle, walking or a donkey cart, is to get one from point A to point B. Cars are just a little quicker and slightly more comfortable". This conversation reminded me

I make believe, That you are here, It's the only way,  I see clear, What have I done? You seem to move on easy. And every time I try to fly I fall, Without my wings I feel so small, I guess I need you baby, And every time I see you in my dreams, I see your face it's haunting me. - Britney Spears, Every time. Ok so something major has happened ever since I wrote eureka. I know I promised that eureka was the last blog I write about me and Milena but I think recent developments warrant a detailed blog.  At around midday on the 22nd of June 2024, my mother received a call from Milena's mother asking us to come over as we had promised at our last meeting some 10 or so days ago. I was at the Akhtar Saeed Trust Hospital in EME practicing clinical examinations for my upcoming practical exam, when my mother called informing me of this new development and asked me to rush back home as soon as possible. I was at that point confused to say the least. I didn't know what to make of t

Indeed, We have created everything, perfectly preordained. - Quran 54:49 Yesterday after having finished writing embers of fire, I did something that I very rarely do. I picked up my copy of the Quran, closed my eyes, opened a random page, ran my finger across that random page and stopped at a random word. I then opened my eyes and read the verse that contained the said word. It was the aforementioned verse. I generally for the most part am not a superstitious person but for the past few months that is ever since Milena stopped talking to me, I have been begging God everyday to make something happen. I think yesterday was my lucky day of sorts. I came across this verse. Sad as it may have been, It was nevertheless my eureka moment. For the past two and a half months I have been in agony everyday. Everyday I wait to hear from her. Everyday I stare out of my window imagining a life with her. Everyday I write a blog in the hopes that she'd read it and maybe one of these days her stone

Me: Absence is to love what wind is to the fire; it extinguishes the small, it inflames the great. Her absence, her eerie silence has only inflamed the embers of love that burn for her in my heart. Subconscious: Hold your horses there lover boy. Embers of love? What are you talking about. I once again am going to reiterate what I have already said earlier. You my dear boy are not even an afterthought of her's. She doesn't care about you or the way you feel because if she did you'd know. I know you'd know. We'd know. So for the love of God accept reality for what it is, read the writing on the wall, don't make me spell it out.  Chin up soldier, stiffen up that upper lip and prepare for the battles that lie ahead. Me: hmmm, well I guess maybe you're right after all. Maybe she really doesn't care and I am the fool deluding myself into believing that she does. But her eyes, they can't lie, now can they? That day when she came over, I saw something in the

J'ai compris tous les mots I've understood every word J'ai bien compris, merci I've understood well thank you Raisonnable et nouveau Reasonable and new C'est ainsi par ici That's it here Que les choses ont changé That things have changed Que les fleurs ont fané That flowers have faded Que le temps d'avant That the past time C'était le temps d'avant Was the past time Que si tout zappe et lasse That if everything bites and leaves Les amours aussi passent Also loves pass Il faut que tu saches You need to know J'irai chercher ton cœur I'll go and seek your heart Si tu l'emportes ailleurs If you take it elsewhere Même si dans tes danses Even if your dances D'autres dansent tes heures Others dance on your hours J'irai chercher ton âme I'll go and seek your soul Dans les froids, dans les flammes In the cold in the flames Je te jetterai des sorts I'll cast spells on you Pour que tu m'aimes encore So that you love me again Pour