Dear Milena

Dare not say that man forgets sooner than woman, that his love has an earlier death. I have loved none but you. Unjust I may have been, weak and resentful I have been, but never inconstant.

Excerpt from captain Wentworth's letter to Anne in Persuasion by Jane Austen.


Dear Milena,
As the sun rises in the east and the moon sets in the west, as nightingales make way for wrens and as the darkness of the night changes into shades of blue, I sit here with nothing but thoughts of you. My life used to be very much mundane that is before you stepped into it and brought it to life. Yes, you brought a life to my life. You are to me the green of plants, the red of apples, the white of the moon, the yellow of the sun, and the blue of the sky. You are to me what makes me, me.

As I start walking down the street of life, I see a young man and a woman staring deeply into each other's eyes, each lost in the thoughts of the other. As I walk down further, I see a husband and a wife laughing and chatting away without a care in the world, and as I get to the end of the street I see an old gray-haired couple with the man looking into the woman's eyes and saying "we made it". As naïve, foolish, and cliché as it may sound I see you and I in each of those people. I see us and me looking at you one day and saying "we made it".

Ever since your last visit, the only thing I have prayed for is for you and your family to choose me. God knows how many times I must've relived those two hours in my mind. There you were all quiet and not saying a whole lot, and there I was, not shutting up. I saw you smiling at dinner when I told your brother that he should start a rivalry with someone to help speed up his prep for the step 1. I don't know if you remember or not but I also did say "have something to work towards". The only thing I am working towards is you, that is us.

Keep me in your heart for a while Milena, you'll be in mine forever.

Hoping to one day be yours
M.A.W Toor 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

A failure and a heartbreak

Before Friday the 26th of April 2024 never in the entirety of my 23 years of exsistence on the face of this planet earth had I ever academically failed a subject. I have my doubts over how this failure came about but since I have no proof I choose not to indulge myself excessively with such thoughts, as such I take full responsibility for what has come to be(what other choice do I have 🙃).   I have thought long and hard about what happened, how it happened, why it happened and honestly I don't know the answer yet but what I do know is that maybe just maybe this failure is perhaps a blessing in disguise.  For starters, it has has turbocharged my prep for step2 which has far greater implications on my future career than does failing in an entirely subjective component of a subject in final year, or atleast that's what I'd like to think. Another good thing to come out of this is that it has very clearly shown to me who my friends are and who aren't. Lastly and perhaps mos...
Read more

When all's said and done

There are some heartbreaks that don’t burn - they linger. They don’t scream - they hum. And they don’t kill you - but they change you in such fundamental ways, you find yourself walking around with a different gait, speaking slower, sleeping less. Months ago, I was in love with someone I genuinely believed I’d spend my life with. She didn’t just break my heart - she vanished . No explanation, no conversation. Her silence became a language I was forced to learn. One I hated speaking, but grew fluent in. And so, I started writing. This blog became my way of staying afloat. I wrote each night not out of habit but out of desperation. I wrote hoping she would read. I wrote to make the pain mean something. I wrote so I wouldn’t call her. So I wouldn’t beg. So I wouldn’t fall apart completely. What I didn’t expect was that in trying to write my way back to her, I was really writing my way back to myself . But let’s not pretend this is a triumphant ending. It’s not. I still miss her. I ...
Read more

On nights like these

On nights like these, as I gaze at the sky, A nightingale sings in the distance, And a shooting star passes by. I make a wish for her silence to break In the hopes that it would cure my heart-ache. On nights like these as I gaze at the sky, A wolf howls in the distance, And a swan passes by. I look in the river to see a full moon and in it her, Or was it her in who I saw a full moon. On nights like these as I gaze at the sky, A boy writes poems in the distance, And she passes by. And as she passes by, the boy's world changes The grass seems a little more bluer The sky a little greener The nights a little more serene The days a little more gleam On nights like these as I gaze at the sky, A boy cries in the distance, And she passes by. And as she passes by, the boy's world changes  The grass seems a little greener The sky a little bluer The nights a little less serene The days a little less gleam On nights like these as I gaze at the sky, I move towards the boys, Only to find rem...
Read more