Until next time

My dearest Milena,

The past month or so was arguably the most difficult month of my life. I can not begin to describe how hard it was and the one thing, the only thing rather, that kept me going was knowing that somewhere in the depths of your heart, against my apparently hopeless situation, you cared, or atleast that's what I'd like to believe.

Throughout this month or so, I have at times been frustrated, at times angry, and at times hopeless. You helped see me through all those times, you may never realize it but you did. You did in ways I could never explain, in ways you would never understand. Even your silence speaks volumes.

I used to hate this silence of yours, now I no longer do. It made me realize that I should say out aloud what I have had in my heart all along today, for who knows what tomorrow holds. And speaking of tomorrows, a thing I've learnt is to never worry about them, there's nothing you or I can do to try and change tomorrows. We have between us only today.

Your silence brought out a whole new side to me, I had never before written a poem, let alone a poem for someone. Your silence has made a poet out of me. Your silence kills me everyday, your silence builds a new me everyday and this cycle goes on everyday. Everyday your silence forces me to not give up, every night your silence leaves me heartbroken, and then comes another day, another hope.

It is these hopes that keep me going. The hope of us happening someday, somehow. The hope of us making it across. The hope of us sitting on a bus stop in Westminster chatting away late into the night. The hope of us strolling around in Hyde Park or walking along the corniche in Doha or skiing down the hills in Banff. It is these hopes that keep me going.

I love you Milena, always have and always will. Everyday I try coming up with a new way of telling you this. Everyday I seemingly fail, yet everyday I choose not to give up, And I shan't ever give up on you, on us.

For the time being though I must now focus all my attention entirely towards passing the supplementary exam. Pray for me Milena, pray for me as I do for you. Go out tonight look at the night sky and the moon that shines above and ask yourself isn't it beautiful? And then keep me in your heart for a while; you'll be in mine forever and beyond. Until next time my dear, Until next time.

Hoping to one day be yours.

M.A.W Toor

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